I’ll Never Get Remarried

That’s right. My second-husband-to-be, Prince William – now the Duke of Cambridge – is off the market. Sigh.

Why do I feel so strongly about him? I don’t know. And I don’t, really. But I had dental surgery years ago and the surgeon was kind enough to put me under for it. When I woke up, everyone in the room said, “You’ll have to call and tell us how your date goes.”

“Hmmpphhh?” I asked.

“You said you had a date with Prince William.”

Apparently while I was “going under,” I blabbed on about my planned date with the prince. Alas, the date never came to pass. Ass.

In any case, sherpas are far preferable to princes, in my experience! And while I give not two sh!ts about the royal wedding, I did at least find one very amusing Royals parody site: Kate Middleton, For the Win.

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